Friends
by amanduhh1221
Summary: Bella has been in love with her best friend Edward for as long as she could remember. Of course all she wants is to tell him, but she's afraid of losing him. What happens when she can't take anymore? What about Edward's feelings? O/S.


I smiled as his chest gently shook with laughter, I loved his laugh. It was a rich deep sound that I wasn't graced with often enough. His father's job required a certain air of pride and seriousness to be displayed by every member of the family. He said it himself, he felt he could only completely let go and act his age with me.

"You've been quiet Bee, something on your mind?"

My heart swelled at the childhood nickname.

You. All the time. "Nothing, just worried about how finals turned out."

He sighed heavily before shutting off the television. He turned my body to face his, tilting my chin up with his index finger. I kept my eyes closed, knowing I'd lose my resolve along with my train of thought if I looked into his eyes.

"Open your eyes Bee." He said quietly.

I couldn't, I couldn't look him in the eye and tell him I can't stay being just his friend. Just one quick glance and he'd see the pain and remorse and every other feeling swimming around in my mind.

I couldn't tell him that I love him, that I have loved him since biology class freshman year. I couldn't tell him how much it killed me when he asked Tanya to prom, how much it killed me when the rumor, the apparently true rumor about them fucking in the back of his father's Volvo circulated the school.

I couldn't risk our friendship; I depended on it too much to end it over my stupid emotions.

His breath fanned over my face as he murmured "please".

I bit my lip before letting my eyes slowly slide open. He smiled broadly, but it slowly faltered as his eyes scanned my face.

"Bells, what's wrong?"

I tried to look away, avoid his penetrating gaze but his grip on my chin made it impossible. I knew it was a mistake meeting his eyes. The forest green depths sucked me in. I shook my head and pushed myself off the couch.

"Bella?"

I ran out of the living room towards the stairs. This needed to stop, for both of us. It wasn't fair to him to wait to start his life. He deserved to live it without me. I was sick of holding him back. Plus it wasn't fair to me, touching the forbidden fruit without tasting it. I needed to let him go to college without me, to be happy without me.

"Bella what the hell?" He asked from the doorway to my room.

I rolled onto my side, away from him. "You should leave."

"Bee you're upset, talk to me." He sat down on the corner of my mattress gently resting his palm on my shoulder.

I flinched away from his touch, curling into myself even more. "Please leave."

"Bella, we always tell each other everything. Why are you being like this?"

Because I love you. "We're going to college Edward. This was bound to happen. Don't let your dumpy friend hold you back from having fun with every pretty girl that throws themself at you."

"What are you talking about? You're my best friend." The hurt was evident in his voice, but there was no way he was hurting as much as he let on.

But in saying this, what had to be said would surely kill me. "You're not mine."

He was silent for a second before saying, "Well if that's how you feel then I guess we aren't friends." The mattress gave as he stood up. "Goodbye Isabella."

He never called me by my full name, not even when we first met. At that time he already knew how much I hated it.

I screamed into my pillow as the front door slammed closed. The usually level headed side of me was screaming at me along with the criminally insane, self-loathing side for letting him leave. For lying to him even though I promised I never would.

Clean break.

It might have been a clean break but my heart shattered into a million pieces as the door closed behind him.

I stayed in bed for the first week of summer, only getting up when I desperately had to. Charlie and Renee tried to coax me out of bed, out of my room but I didn't move. I didn't eat the food they left for me, barely picking at it. They threatened to call a doctor and therapist; they threatened to have me committed even burn the damn house down. Nothing could have gotten me out of that bed.

Except for him.

_Friends_

As the date on the clock on my nightstand turned to Monday, I forced myself out of bed to shower. If he could move on so easily, with his life, then I could too, even though I knew deep down in my heart it was impossible.

Both my parents smiled at me as I walked down the stairs. I couldn't smile back at them. I grabbed my keys off the table and slid into my rusted red truck. The main subject of all his teasing. I let my feet decide where to go, letting my mind wander.

Where I did end up surprised me and burned my heart.

Our meadow.

Being a glutton for punishment I got out, ignoring the constant rain fall practically drowning me. My sneakers squeaked as I walked the ever familiar path through the woods. I pushed the wet hair out of my eyes as I reached the clearing.

I almost screamed when I noticed a black figure perched in the center despite the torrential down pour. I slowly approached the person, clenching my hands into a fist ready to strike.

The haunted stare that met mind as the person looked up made me fall flat on my ass.

"Edward?"

"What are you doing here?" His voice was dead, completely devoid of emotion.

"I-you…"

"What you take away our friendship from me, now you want to take away the meadow too? Fuck you Bella."

As he stood up to walk away, I jumped up and grabbed his wrist. "You have no idea why I did what I did. I was trying to give you the freedom you needed. I can't just be friends with you anymore. I love you and it kills me to touch you without really touching you, to hold your hand just because my fingers were cold.

"It killed me Edward, when you went to my house the night of prom properly fucked by her. Congratulations for fucking whatever your heart desired Edward. I'm glad you had a great time."

I tried to hide my surprise at actually saying all that as he stared at me, stunned. "Do you mean all that?"

I wiped the tears from my eyes and nodded. "Now you can go back to your newest conquest and laugh it all up because—"

I was cut off by his lips. His lips! He was kissing me, finally kissing me. It wasn't a short accidental kiss. It was filled with so much raw emotion, so much unrestrained want, my knees buckled. He slid his arms around my torso, pulling me flush against him.

Edward slowly pulled away, giving us a moment to catch our breath, but his lips never left my skin. They trailed down the column of my neck, across my collarbone and back up to my ear. "I love you." He kissed my cheek "I love you," the tip of my nose, "I love you," both my closed eyes before my mouth. "You're my best friend Bee. I've always loved you."

After his declaration things only got better. We didn't let the idea of being separated for college affect the little time we had together. For once in my life I could admit I was in love with my best friend and only feel happiness. Because we had each other.

Forever.


End file.
